My Country on Rt 30 (a rewrite by McDizzle and Me)
Through Southwest Vermont
Artisian and wood craft shops
Slow me to 40
At this speed I recognize
Curious relics of my history
The reality of those who created
My country
Hits me like a stack of maple covered buttermilks
Cooled by pats
Of unsalted butter
An odd grouping of tattered huts
Off-kilter, out of place
Appears around a bend
Like a hundred others
Low in the river valley
The winter recluses of a brave breed
Hauled ashore
From melting ice
For the off-season
Spring arrived in Vermont on March 24
jb (and McDizzle... Thanks McD!)
Artisian and wood craft shops
Slow me to 40
At this speed I recognize
Curious relics of my history
The reality of those who created
My country
Hits me like a stack of maple covered buttermilks
Cooled by pats
Of unsalted butter
An odd grouping of tattered huts
Off-kilter, out of place
Appears around a bend
Like a hundred others
Low in the river valley
The winter recluses of a brave breed
Hauled ashore
From melting ice
For the off-season
Spring arrived in Vermont on March 24
jb (and McDizzle... Thanks McD!)
posted by ilightyouup at 8:34 PM
1 Comments:
Very nice! The word choice on "pats" is perfect. I like the way that word sounds when spoken aloud...
Also, good choice on ending with "spring arrived in Vermont on March 24" I wonder; shoud you leave vermont out of that line? You've already established the location in the first stanza...
Very nice work, my friend. you have a real feel for the important moments.
and thanks for the poem; i hope you realize how much that means to me...
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