Poem

poem
poem
poem
poem

The wordlessness is thrilling!

jb

My Country on Rt 30 (a rewrite by McDizzle and Me)

Through Southwest Vermont
Artisian and wood craft shops
Slow me to 40

At this speed I recognize
Curious relics of my history
The reality of those who created
My country
Hits me like a stack of maple covered buttermilks

Cooled by pats
Of unsalted butter

An odd grouping of tattered huts
Off-kilter, out of place
Appears around a bend
Like a hundred others
Low in the river valley

The winter recluses of a brave breed
Hauled ashore
From melting ice
For the off-season

Spring arrived in Vermont on March 24


jb (and McDizzle... Thanks McD!)

Blood Brother

One hour on the phone tells me
That He is a friend to remember.
A man who listens to what I say
And responds to my words like
A poet. His problems are many
But His complaints are few.
He is… a true friend.

Hard to tell sometimes what
The world is throwing at Him.
But He’s always willing to listen
To me, telling Him, what the world
Is throwing at me, good and bad.
He is the model by which men should be made.
He is… a true man.

Karma seems to suckle at his toes
Licking the smutchz between them
And He reacts by looking for redemption
In the form of an acceptance letter
From an uninterested industry
During a time of recessed serendipity.
He is… a true artist.

He is… my friend.

jb

Cold Water Trout

Driving North on Rt. 30
Through Southwestern Vermont
The artisian and wood crafts shops
Cause me to slow down to under 40 MPH.
I look curiously at the relics of my history,
The reality of the people who created my country
Hits me like a stack of maple syrup covered buttermilks.

Smothered in creamy unsalted butter.

Around a bend, like one hundred others, low on the lakeside
Appears an odd grouping of tattered huts, off kilter
Out of place, removed from service, perhaps?
They are the shacks of a brave breed,
Hauled ashore for the off-season.
Spring arrived in Vermont
On March 24th.

And was spoiled by a poet in a Nissan.

jb

Smartass

So i've been working a little bit, these past few weeks, in this theater. I don't want to name names because that just wouldn't be nice, but i've been working. And the work i have been doing is pretty easy stuff for a guy like me who's been in the business for 15 years or so. Frankly, it's pretty easy stuff for a monkey too. What is killing me, is feeling like i am the only person in the room with initiative, drive, knowledge, caring, and the desire to please the client, or whoever is renting the building. I am, I think, at most times, the smartest person in the room. I never really thought i was too smart until i stopped hanging around smart people all the time! Damn, i miss you guys! And don't even get me started on bad senses of humor. I'm not talking about people who just don't have a sense of humor... that's fine and i can deal with that. What i can't deal with is people who talk incessantly about nothing at all (things they think are funny) because they haven't matured enough to learn (or may never) that silence is golden!

shhh




isn't it nice?

Take a few minutes.... take five, and listen to the silence. Can you turn off your brain? (this is a drug free activity... no cheating!)











Sorry
just had to get that randomness down on 'papier'
jb

Well Duh!

Get to the part about kinetics....

This is despite the fact that over the past three years American and British troops have killed thousands of suspected insurgents. They have also detained more than 100,000 Iraqi men, most of them innocent, with only 15,000 still in custody. Such smash-and-grab tactics have clearly failed. “If you've applied the kinetics [Pentagon-speak for force] we've applied, and you still have a situation where attacks are up and there are so many bad guys, that's the best argument against applying kinetics,” says Lieut-General Peter Chiarelli, the commander of coalition forces in Iraq. “For every one we pick off the streets, we're creating one to take his place.”

Copyright © 2006 The Economist Newspaper and The Economist Group. All rights reserved.

Message

So i just won a few hundred bucks at the casino. And wouldn't a massage be nice?

This is money we did not have 10 hours ago. Am i allowed to drop 65 bucks on a massage? The real answer is no.... because we have to pay the movers, and the other bills, etc...

But if i hadn't gone to the casino.... oh how i hate giving a damn! I'm so happy that i have enough money to pay the movers it almost makes me sick! Anyone wanna give a great guy a message for free?

Don't worry Brandon... i don't really mean it... I love you way too much!

xoxoxo
me

What The Fuck?

It's fun to write things
that mean nothing to anyone
other than me.
How does that make you feel?
Are you offended?
Do you think it's fair?
Do you dislike me for doing so?
What about my punctuation
or lack of paragraphs
or forgetting to capitalize
or just not giving a shit.
How do you feel when i curse in my writing?
How does it feel to not know
What the fuck i am talking about
or what the hell i could possibly be getting at.

Who are you? And why the fuck are you questioning me?

jb

The Gamble

Blackjack or Twenty-one
Can be a bitter pill.
You take a chance on the game
And the game tests your will.

The cards were all wrong
For an hour or so,
Then i spilled my drink....

On my cards, "Oh No!"

It took close to an hour
While we stood quietly by,
As Rinaldo vaccuumed, then blowdryed,
Finaly proclaiming, "It's Dry!"

We tipped him well
For a job well done,
Then sat back down
To continue the fun.

An hour had passed
And so too our poor luck.
Our hands were all perfect
We lost nary a buck.

Four hours more,
All were such fun,
I bet and drank free
Until I was done.

Now we can pay the movers!

jb

Fiat File 1

Fears of reality,
Scared, confused, aloof.
Inhibited by nature,
Interested by truth.

You blind yourself
To my basic needs.
I live for the moment
While you hide in our weeds.

The chances I take,
I do so for me.
You worry all day
That I’ll fuck up our “We.”

I need to take chances,
I need to be free.
You need to accept it
And let me be me.

But reason abides and
Says all will be fine.
I’ll take a sweet ride
And joy will be mine.

Unless I get pulled over, or arrested, of course….

jb

Big Fucking Chicken

I was curious what other people thought about the new "Big Bucking Chicken" commercial from Burger King so i typed "Big Fucking Chicken" into google and got jon sullivan's site. He pretty much covers all of the points i would have made had i written my own comments so i'll just let you read what he says. Please visit his site for more interesting thoughts and stories.

The following has been reprinted here from www.jonsullivan.com.

Big Fucking Chicken - Mar 15th, '06
1) Personally I really like the Burger King ads. It's like they had "The Kids In The Hall" do their marketing or something. BarGrl absolutely hates them. Especially the ones where men in their underwear are confronted by a frightening man in a mask who tries to get them to eat his breakfast sandwich.

And the new commercial where we're introduced to the big fucking chicken is great simply for it's audacity. I keep wondering how this ad was pitched to the Burger King folks. "It's a big fucking chicken in a rodeo. And there's a song about the big fucking chicken. That's it. Just that." Apparently they were having trouble getting people to look at the TV with the last series which featured women wearing fur lying on top off each other inside a burger. It certainly is impossible to not look when you hear a song about a big fucking chicken. Big fucking chicken. Big fucking chicken. Big fucking chicken. It certainly does get stuck in your head doesn't it?

Burger King is the "South Park" of hamburger chains. I really think they're trying to see how far they can go before the FCC shuts them down.

And, by the way, the big fucking chicken sandwich is pretty good, as such things go. And I think we should all go get one as an encouragement for Burger King to keep doing ads which are just completely wrong.

Couch day

Ten days now until we close.
My checking account disagrees.
It cries out, "No, you fool!"
I laugh. It's a little late.

Two days work between now and then,
Sixteen hours in all.
Fiften bucks an hour means that I
Can pay three of the eight bills due.

One day spent reclined, laptop
Perched precariously atop my
Favorite boxers, searching for work
Which can't be found online.

Why do i waste my time?

jb

Reality... Skip this if you're not a fan of the news...

Speculation about Kofi Annan’s replacement has focused on many familiar names.

(Angus Reid Global Scan) – Many adults in the United States are worried about increasing sectarian tension in Iraq, according to two recent public opinion polls. In a survey by Opinion Dynamics released by Fox News, 81 per cent of respondents think it is very likely or somewhat likely that Iraq will end up in a civil war.

In a study by Gallup released by CNN and USA Today, 73 per cent of respondents think it is likely that there will be a major civil war involving ethnic or religious groups in Iraq in the next year.

The coalition effort against Saddam Hussein’s regime was launched in March 2003. At least 2,298 American soldiers have died during the military operation, and more than 16,900 troops have been wounded in action.

On Feb. 22, suspected insurgents placed two bombs inside Samarra’s Shiite Golden Mosque. The event has led to several days of sectarian violence in Iraq. More than 500 people have died, and more than 180 Sunni mosques have been destroyed.

Yesterday, senior U.S. ground commander George Casey discussed the situation, saying, "(Insurgents) were primarily responsible for the attacks against the mosques in the Baghdad area, and we continue to follow up on the information that we have on these with the Iraqi security forces."

In an interview broadcast on ABC on Feb. 28, U.S. president George W. Bush declared, "I don’t buy (the) premise that there’s going to be a civil war (in Iraq)."

Polling Data

a) How likely do you think it is that Iraq will end up in a civil war?

Very likely
49%

Somewhat likely
32%

Not very likely
9%

Not likely at all
5%

Depends
2%

Not sure
3%


Source: Opinion Dynamics / Fox News
Methodology: Telephone interviews with 900 registered American voters, conducted on Feb. 28 and Mar. 1, 2006. Margin of error is 3 per cent.

b) Just your best guess, do you think it is likely or unlikely that there will be a major civil war involving ethnic or religious groups in Iraq in the next year?

Likely
73%

Unlikely
20%

Already occurring
2%

No opinion
5%


Source: Gallup / CNN / USA Today
Methodology: Telephone interviews with 1,020 American adults, conducted on Feb. 28 and Mar. 1, 2006. Margin of error is 3 per cent.

Me

I
I
I
I.

I wish you all goodnight.

jb

late night

I treasure the hours that leave me alone
I like to control the noize
I write poetry that begins with the word
I over and over again
I am an egoist in the sense Ayn Rand meant when she reinvented the term.

Look it up. All of you. But all of me too.

jb

Alcohol

drink drink drink drink drink drink
burbon is cheap when you buy in bulk
drink drink drink drink drink drink
bulk is relative when you buy bourbon

drink drink drink drink drink drink
family size bottles do not help us
drink drink drink drink drink drink
we'll never be a family like this

drink drink drink drink drink drink
drink drink drink drink drink drink
drink drink drink drink drink drink
drink drink drink drink drink drink

Drunk.... at 1:41am

jb

Damn

What if 10% of gay youths in the US really do commit suicide before the age of 18?

jb

A Plug...

For some incredibly deep thoughts and deeper poetry... please see me dear friend McDizzle's blog:

http://mcmurdersexart.blogspot.com/

Enjoy

jb

Like a Slinky or Truths

I plan to be myself.
I hope to be allowed.
I hate to be surprised.
I have to be
Flexible.

You should know my plan.
You can boost my hope.
You will solve my hate.
You have to be
Flexible.

We plan our life together.
We hope to be allowed.
We have no room for hate.
We will be
Flexible.

You don't even know

While I wait for you to need sleep
I wait on my own to be free.
Once you are gone I can relax, breath free.
Once again.. welcome… to me.

You cry out at night.
You scream in your sleep.
You fight unseen foes,
You are hard to keep.

I will always be here
I will always protect
I will always look forward
I will never reject

You.

jb

Uncool Irony... But really...

Monday, March 13, 2006 11:19 p.m. ET

AUSTIN (AP) -- The reigning Miss Deaf Texas died Monday afternoon after being struck by a train, officials said.

Tara Rose McAvoy, 18, was walking near railroad tracks when she was struck by a Union Pacific train, authorities said. A witness told Austin television station KTBC the train sounded its horn right up until the accident occurred.

McAvoy, who had been deaf since birth, won the state title in June and represented the state "with dignity and pride," state pageant director Laura Loeb Hill told The Associated Press via e-mail Monday night.

McAvoy was to represent Texas at the Miss Deaf America pageant this summer, Loeb Hill said.

McAvoy graduated last year from the Texas School for the Deaf, attended Austin Community College and then started at Gallaudet University in Washington, D.C., in January, but had returned to Texas, Loeb Hill said.

___

On the Net:

http://www.deaftexas.org/miss_deaf_texas.htm

Copyright © 2006 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. This story and its comments expire 30 days after original publication date.

Bleary eyed
slightly fried
saturday arrives.
Got the whole day
stay away
this one is mine.

fuck all

jb

BLOOGER JUST SCREWED ME

I guess that'll teach me to compose poetry in the Blogger post-create page. Fuckers just dumped 30 mins of work. oh well.... i wasn't really in the mood anyway.

Television off as Brandon goes to bed
i like the relative silence
there is still the fan he employs to filter
out the rest of the ambient noise
so he can sleep

this is not poetry.... nor was that.... it's just not in me tonight. I bought Sharper Image's Noise cancellation headphones yesterday online... with my VISA Rewards! Yay for fucking me. Now i can put them on and fade away into the silence i so long for and deserve in my living room.

Gotta love some technology!

cheers

jb

Weekend's end

Here we are on Sunday night. It's been a good weekend for me and for us. I spent Saturday tooling around in the Fiat... 1976 Fiat Spider just given to me by a very dear friend. That little fucker runs well. I need to get the signals and alternator working properly but i don't think that'll take much. It's so little, and yellow, and sexy. I'll have pictures online soon for all to see and envy.

While not driving around feeling special.... i hung out in Colchester, CT at Dave's house out in the country and listened to my friend, peter's, band. They are refreshingly very good! It was great to hear some good original music... I think they are calling themselves the Rand Band... More on them as they coagulate into a real source of music.

Saturday night B and i built a fire in Colchester with Peter and cooked Chicken, Zuchinni, onions and potatoes in foil packets in the fire. My favorite place. We also indulged in some alcohol, goaded on by the rest of the OxyContin... It was nice to party as a family. That's funny.

"Crush it up and snort it." That was the advice we got on the OC. Good stuff!

Sunday has been a day of rest. We close on our house in under 3 weeks. We will be homeowners. Fucking scary, but it's gonna happen and it will be great. We'll have a fire EVERY night then. I might find some poetry in me in an hour or two...

jb

Class

Nothing real classy about that 'reconciliation,' huh? That's what you get from a drunken, fucked fag at nearly 3am on a friday night. Mind you, not a typical friday night in my life. I mean, we went out to dinner AND to the club! Fancy living! Anyway, we had a blast. We needed it. It got even dirtier after the post... Nothing i can make poetic. I won't even try. well....

............

nope

jb

oh... the times listed by blogger seem to be west coast approximations of my east coat life. just a note to all of you who are wondering why i might be typing this at 5:48am. It's 8:48 here, but i still have no excuse for being awake or literate at this hour.
cheers.

Reconciliation

Fucked in the ass
surrounded by tires
big ones like tractors
dump trucks and earth movers

He did it for me
but had a good time
what does it mean
other than not getting arrested

we are branching out...

jb

Take a Hike

Spring thaw underfoot,
moist foilage presses against
it's predecesors below.
The Spring brew is acrid yet aromatic.

Random piles of snow remain
scattered across the slope
like too many mashed potatoes
on your shepard's pie.

Just dirty reminders of a previous excess.
Left over bits of the season.
They will melt.
Slowly.

Case Mountain Hike

I've gotta tell you... 65 degrees is really nice. A little overcast but that's just fine. It was a soothing hike. Quiet. Whole. Here a few pictures, not art but here ya go anyway.

Message

I just got back from the Swedish Massage b got me for Valentines day. Good stuff. I feel all wiggly and loose - like a drunk lizard. At least, this is how i imagine a drunk lizard would feel. The day is beautiful. I smell like message oil with a tinge of fish. Can't figure out that last part. I'm going to grab some lunch then head out to take a walk up a mountain. Maybe i'll take pictures for you all to peruse later today.

fight the power..... resist staticity.

jb

last night

Wanna fight?

Fuck you you sexy bitch!

jb

Scrip # 194765 Recovery

Lids heavy thick gelatinous
sleep doesnt satisfy
its a charade
klonopin

klonopin
games over
life didnt satisfy
brain heavy thick gelatinous

jb

Random Thought on Intelligence

Is intelligence knowledge or is intelligence the ability to skip knowledge and go straight to applying an appropriate response?

I won't extrapolate on why i ask such a question... i'm sure a few of you can do the psychological math and figure it out.

hmmm
jb

Our little slice of reality... March 30th!!!!!

Well, here it is! B and I have really made the plunge. We close on the 30th. Keep your fingers crossed and visit our Registgry at HomeDepot.com! Whew... Buying a house is deep. I'll leave it at that for now.

jb

A Poem by Guest Artist Duncan Stewart

I wish I were a Sea Turtle,
For then i would never be
Homesick

ds

Addiction gone wild... or just gone

Is it possible to be addicted to addiction?

I gave up habitual cocaine a couple of years ago, I gave up cigarettes Dec 1, 2006. I gave up sex with the free world nearly three years ago. I gave up acid in 1995, mescaline and heroin in 1993, pot in 1995, extascy in 2004. I have only alcohol, which many experts agree is the most destructive drug of all. I drink every night. What would happen if i quit? I might cease to exist as an entity. It'd be really weird. I'd have to survive on emotion and circumstance and oxygen and reality. (whatever that is blah, blah, blah)

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this people. Please comment below.

Have i lost it? the plot?

jb

Pillow Talk

Amazing comparisons between two realities
strain the already taut threads that bind
two lives together like opposites ends of
the bow playing the viola.

Throaty sighs of reserved contentment resonate
through the vacuum of space we inhabit together.
As the melody comes to an end it more resembles
a tango than a waltz.

Jerky, unsure, but always minding the tune.

It is expected.

There are no rests and no returns.

The receipt was lost years ago -- Intentionally.

jb

Masons and plumbers and electricians

Well, they'll all be there on Monday, April 3 at 8am. Lucky for me, I won't have to get up until at least 6:30am that morning. They keep calling me before 9am. Who are these people? I don't get it, this before 10am thing. It's all very new to me. There are 15 mexicans working in the loft next to mine. It's 9:26am and they sing while they work. It is not a pretty song, in fact, they all sing different songs. There are at least 2 radios. Cheap ones with tinny sounding speakers -- blaring mexican pop. 2 more songs to add to the mix. I wonder what time the liquor store opens?

Martini day may be in order.

cheers.

Rockstar Gone Soft

Domestications Discount Codes

href="http://rockstargonesoft.blogspot.com/">Rockstar Gone Soft

Opening NIght

A poem to start with:

Time flows fast, months are passing thoughts, lost in the stained gelatin I've left behind. Firming it up is costly, if even possible. Finding that particular ingredient may take time.
I have time, just not as much as i used to. Time to think, time to miss what i used to be, time to live...

I got lucky and pissed on death's spindly phlanges. I wasn't ready for him so i told him to "Fuck Off!" Pretty impressive for someone who didn't give a shit. What now?
Eat the pills and find one that makes the idleness interesting? Better than cocaine... is it? No.

Who knows what will eventually kill me.

I'd bet good money it's nothing related to drugs or drug use. I'll bet it's some bore like prostate cancer. Jesus... I hope they have good drugs for that.

OxyContin is in the cupboard. I should eat it. I should inject it. No needles.... I don't like needles. Guess i'll just eat it.

Googled blog for noone to read... interesting concept, but not really. A diary on my desktop.

think, type, sit.

A personal add:

RockStar party kid seeks self. Me: tall, fat, hairy, bored and alive. You: tall, trim, boyish attitude, afraid of nothing, dying slowly and having fun doing it. Let's meet 10 years from now like we did 10 years ago and compare notes.

Fuck.

There is something i am missing. i need excitement that is inexpensive, non-sexual in nature, and non-narcotic.

I'm an addict without an addiction. Scary shit!! Revelation right there. I need some fucking therapy, fast!

I've done this before, recognize the problem, that is. You know what i'm talking about. I am smarter than they are but they do tend to help sort through things.

What the fuck have i been missing for 31 goddamn years? THIS IS NOT FUCKING FAIR! I've chosen to play by the rules and i need something in return. SOME GODDAMN THING!

I'll just wait here.

The return of heartburn is nice. Thanks for that. Oh... and yeah... the "fungal growth" is a gift as well. Thanks a million. Wow... look at all the fucking things i have to be thrilled about!

Fuck it.

I really like the house. I want to break every TV we own before we move into it.

Maybe a tv in the guest bedroom. Some discussion time in the living room would be nice.
Books, papers, and thoughts. i like it. I'll have to bring that up with B. Why should there be a TV downstairs?

Although i wouldn't mind having one in the kitchen. I get lonely in the kitchen. i love to cook though. But i get lonely.

What if we ate dinner at the table every night?

i'd like to institute a meal planning plan. I think B should cook, or buy, or call out for dinner at least four times a month. I need a break and he should give me that break. I deserve it. 8% of the meals if my shitty math is right. I tip waiters triple that just to bring me food. Yes, i deserve that.

Gotta stop drinking so much. Gonna get esophagal cancer like Ann Richards. But boy would i like to smoke a ciggarette right now! More pills please. I've got some wellbutrin left over. Uppers on top of the oxycontin is probably not the best choice but those wbutrins are such a wimpy shit of a pill. aargghh. I am pathetic.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

that was me falling asleep with my finger on the keyboard... well, on the 'E' key to be precise. Guess the OC's are kicking in. Sleep on the couch or climb into bed with B? Anyone?